I always imagined that once I got pregnant and had a baby that I would no longer have to actively try to gain weight, I thought I would be able to quit taking my weight gain supplements (ensure plus), and that I would naturally just be thicker forever due to weight and body changes that would result from pregnancy. I thought my hips would expand, my butt would get bigger, my thighs would get thicker, and my breasts would get fuller. Boy was I wrong!!! Here are a pictures of me at 9 months pregnant.
You will notice I gained most, if not all of my weight just in my stomach and breasts. I did not get wider hips, a bigger butt, or thicker thighs. I also did not gain that much weight during my pregnancy because I had morning/all day sickness for the entire 9 months. I was nauseous, had low appetite, had a metal taste in my mouth, and vomited during my entire pregnancy. My highest weight I believe was 167 lbs. Pre-pegnancy I was 148 lbs. During my first couple of months of pregnancy I lost weight and got down to about 132 lbs due to constant vomitting, and then towards the end I finally gained but it was all baby weight/tummy weight and not weight to my actual body.
Postpartum I am a lot more self-conscious about my body then I have ever been in life. I now look back at the way my body used to be and wish I had loved it and appreciated it way more then I did. I would never at this point in life wear a 2 piece bikini and I would like to get my body back/my stomach back to the point where I am comfortable doing so. I know it will take tons and tons of work and exercise. I now have very obvious stretch marks, I think I have a hernia in my belly button, and I have loose skin on my tummy. The stretch marks don't bother me all that much but a combination of all 3 do bother me. I am hoping when I have time to exercise rigorously I will be able to build abs and have the tummy that I desire to have. Right now my son is 1.5 yrs, my hubby works 12 hr days, and none of my family live close by, I am a stay home mom, and literally have no ME TIME. I am ok with that because my son comes first, his growth and development comes first, and I know I have the rest of my life to worry about me and getting my body back. So right now I am putting my weight gain and postpartum body journey to the side. Don't get me wrong I do think I look decent if not good with my clothes on, but there is a lot you don't see. I want to look good with my clothes off, and I also want to look great in a 2 piece bikini. My tummy is my biggest insecurity.
Your probably wondering well why don't you at least gain weight and worry about exercising later on in a year or so when you son is more independent. Well I can't do that postpartum. Ever since I had my baby, weight goes straight to my stomach and no where else. At 150-157 (which was my highest weight) pre-baby I loved my body. I had a little belly fat but nothing serious, I could easily hold it in, and keep it tight, I loved my body at that size pre-baby. Post baby OMG my body looks terrible at 150. I couldn't even imagine what it would look like at 157. I honestly just look about 5 months pregnant at 150 post baby. Its crazy how different my body carries weight and gains weight post baby. It is very clear I need to tighten my stomach muscles before I gain and also during and after the gaining process. I need to do strength/ weight training to ensure the weight that I gain goes to other places and not my stomach. So when I do have time to work out and begin my weight journey again that will be the plan. But who knows exactly when that time will come.
CANT WAIT TO BEGIN MY WEIGHT JOURNEY AGAIN AND WHEN THAT TIME COMES I WILL SURELY SHARE THAT NEW PROCESS (THAT WILL INCLUDE WORKING OUT) WITH YOU!!!
Until then I will leave you with some current pictures of me. :) In these pictures my weight ranged from 134-142. That is the weight I am comfortable at right now, the highest weight I can be postpartum without looking pregnant.
Thank you for stopping by - Keke <3
